Intergenerational harm does not stay in the past, and it does not stay at home. It shows up in how we communicate, how we lead, what we tolerate and what we repeat. In our communities it often surfaces as lateral violence, harm passed sideways between people who are already carrying too much. Left unnamed, it shapes teams, careers and relationships. Named, it can be worked with.

Many of us are doing demanding work while living with complex trauma. It affects how we hear feedback, how much we take on, when we go quiet, and how we treat the people we lead. This retreat treats that as a professional reality rather than a private problem.

Over three days we work through The Pain We Carry Workbook by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez, the companion to her book The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color. Natalie guides us through it, Myrna connects it to the places we spend our working lives, and every participant receives their own copy to keep.

What we will look at

• How complex trauma operates in professional settings, and how it shapes communication, leadership and conflict
• Ancestral and intergenerational burdens, and how they travel through families, workplaces and communities
• Lateral violence: what feeds it, how to recognise it early, and how to interrupt it
• What it costs to be the only one in the room who looks like us, and how we carry that
• What repair actually asks of us, with ourselves, our colleagues, our families and our communities
• Regulation, boundaries, and staying steady in the conversations most of us avoid

What you will leave with

• Language for what you have been noticing in yourself and in your workplace
• A clearer read on your own patterns under pressure
• Practical strategies for repair you can use at work, at home and in community
• Your own copy of The Pain We Carry Workbook, to keep working with long after Royston
• A small circle of people who understand the rooms you walk into

Who this is for

People whose work brings them close to other people’s wounds, and who are carrying their own:

• Leaders, managers and team leads
• Helpers, healers and frontline workers
• Advocates and community organizers
• Legal and health professionals
• Educators, social workers, and child and family workers
• Anyone responsible for a team where harm has shown up

This work was built for and with communities of colour. It draws on Natalie’s decolonial practice with people of the global majority and on Myrna’s LoveBack™ methodology, developed for and with Indigenous communities. You do not need to have figured anything out to belong here. You need only be ready.

The team holding this space

Myrna McCallum, co-facilitator

Métis and Cree trauma educator, lawyer and speaker, and the creator of LoveBack™, a methodology rooted in the belief that love is not soft, it is the most radical act of resistance available to us. Myrna has spent her career at the intersection of trauma, justice and centering humanity.

Natalie Y. Gutiérrez, LMFT, co-facilitator

Puerto Rican trauma therapist, ancestral healer, Certified Internal Family Systems therapist and international keynote speaker, with 17 years specializing in complex, racial, multigenerational and ancestral trauma. Author of The Pain We Carry and its companion workbook, with work featured in the Washington Post, the LA Times and NPR. More at natalieygutierrez.com.

Moana Paulus, healer

A Polynesian healer with roots in New Zealand and Hawaii. Moana offers individual one-to-one healing sessions during the retreat, personal care alongside the group work.

Charmaine Parenteau, Resident Auntie

Métis from Duck Lake, Saskatchewan, Treaty Six territory, and Resident Auntie for LoveBack™ programs. She brings humour, warmth and an unshakeable sense of care. Every retreat needs an Auntie. We are lucky to have ours.

Practical notes

• This is professional development. It is not treatment, and it does not replace therapy or clinical care.
• Natalie is a licensed therapist and is here as a facilitator, not as your therapist.
• Bring what you are willing to work with. Nothing will be asked of you that you do not choose to offer.
• Space is limited, so the room stays small enough for everyone to be heard.

Venue

The Kingfisher Pacific Resort & Spa sits on the traditional territory of the K’ómoks First Nation, on the eastern shores of Vancouver Island. It is a place of water, forest and beauty, a fitting container for the work we are coming together to do.

The Kingfisher also offers healing caves and spa services. These are available to participants at their own cost and are not included in the retreat investment.

When you book your room, please tell the Kingfisher you are booking a room for the LoveBack™ Retreat. They are offering a discounted rate to our participants, so it is worth asking for it when you reserve.

Sponsor a seat

Around the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, people ask us what meaningful action looks like. This is one answer, and it holds all year. September 30 passes. What it asks of us does not.

Allies and organizations can sponsor a seat for an Indigenous participant who wants to be in this room and cannot cover the cost. A sponsorship is $2,999 + GST, held at the founding rate for as long as sponsored seats are available. You will not attend on this ticket. We match every sponsored seat with someone who has asked to come, and we let you know when your seat is filled.

When you sponsor a seat, you are also investing in a survivor’s business. I am an Indian residential school survivor, and this work is mine. Your sponsorship puts an Indigenous person in the room and supports the Indigenous-owned practice that built it. Reconciliation is also about where you choose to spend.

If you are Indigenous and would like to be considered for a sponsored seat, email admin@myrnamccallum.co and tell us a little about the work you do. There is no application form and no need to explain your finances to us.

Organizations sponsoring more than one seat can be invoiced. Email admin@myrnamccallum.co.

Investment

All rates are in Canadian dollars. GST is added at checkout.

Paying by credit card? You will see a line at checkout called Credit card processing fee. That is not a fee we charge and not money we keep. It is what the card company takes to process the payment, and it is passed straight to them.

You can avoid it entirely. Pay by e-transfer or direct deposit and there is no processing fee at all.

• Founding rate: $2,999 + GST, through October 31
• Early bird rate: $3,299 + GST, through December 15
• Standard rate: $3,499 + GST

Bringing your team: once two seats from your organization are confirmed, each additional team member is $500 off. Invoicing is available for organizations. To book as a team, email admin@myrnamccallum.co.

Payment plan: a deposit of $1,199 + GST holds your seat at the rate in effect that day, with the balance paid in installments by January 15. Deposits are non-refundable and can be transferred to a colleague.

Included: three days of facilitated group work, time with Moana for a one-to-one healing session, your own copy of The Pain We Carry Workbook, and breakfast and lunch each day. Dinner, accommodations and travel are on your own.

Need an invoice for your organization? Choose Pay by invoice or cheque at checkout. Your registration is recorded and your seat is held right away, and we email your invoice within two business days.

How to pay: to save on processing fees, e-transfer the total plus GST to admin@myrnamccallum.co with the password “loveback”, including your full name and the retreat title in the message box. For a deposit, a payment plan or an invoice, email admin@myrnamccallum.co.

Questions? Reach us at admin@myrnamccallum.co